Rutgers Prep Athletics

Parenting and coaching provide immeasurable rewards for those who are fortunate enough to experience these vocations. However, neither is without potential “speed bumps” and by promoting appropriate communication and an understanding of each position, we are better able to provide benefit to our student athletes.

When issues arise, we recommend that the student athlete communicate with the coach directly prior to any parental involvement. Although these conversations are not always easy, we believe that it is in the student’s best interest (short term and long term) to take the first step in an attempt to address any concerns that he or she may be feeling. That said, our coaches are always available, through the proper channels, to the parents of the student athletes in their charge.

Communication coaches should expect from student athletes and parents:

1. Notification of any schedule conflicts in a timely fashion.

2. Concerns should be expressed directly to the coach.

3. The coach should be made aware of medical/injury issues of the student athletes.

Coaches are certainly available to parents to discuss issues that may arise. Here are some guidelines for setting up such a meeting:

1. Call or email the coach to request an appointment.

2. If the coach cannot be reached, contact the Athletic Director to request that a meeting be set up for you.

3. Do not attempt to meet a coach before, during, or after a contest or practice. These meetings do not often promote successful communication.

4. When dealing with issues that may be somewhat emotional, when possible we recommend that parents and coaches wait “24 hours” before meeting to discuss the issue.

5. We recommend that the student athlete attend the parent/coach meeting.

If the parent/coach meeting does not provide satisfactory resolution:

1. Call or email the Athletic Director to set up an appointment.

2. We recommend that the coach be present for such a meeting.

3. If that meeting does not provide satisfactory resolution, further discussion may be pursued with the appropriate Division Principal or Headmaster.

4. For the benefit of the student athlete, the coach, and the program, it is important that the appropriate “chain of command” approach is followed.

1. Discussion between student athlete and coach.

2. Parent/coach discussion or meeting.

3. Meeting with the Athletic Director.

4. Appointment or discussion with the appropriate Division Principal or Headmaster.

Appropriate concerns for parents to discuss with coaches:

1. The coach’s interaction with the student athlete.

2. The student athlete’s interaction with others.

3. Evaluation of performance of the student athlete.

4. Suggestions for ways to improve performance.

5. “Off the field” issues that the coach may be able to help with (time management, academic, behavioral, etc.)

Issues not appropriate for parents to discuss with coaches:

1. Team strategy and/or lineup decisions.

2. Issues involving other student athletes.

Some suggestions for parents:

1. At contests, refrain from the impulse to “coach” or “officiate” from the stands. While you will not always agree with decisions made by coaches or officials, comments of that nature will be (at best) uncomfortable and (at worst) embarrassing for your child, the coach, and other spectators.

2. Try not to be critical of the coach in front of your child. This provides a message that will not help her/him to have as positive an experience as possible.

3. Encourage your child to compete “for the love of the game”. Getting too concerned with things such as who is doing the scoring, who is getting the publicity, post-season awards, etc. can make a student athlete forget why he or she loves athletics.

4. Be a positive fan. Support all of the student athletes on the team, not just your son or daughter. Try to attend contests that don’t involve your child.

Some taken from: NJSIAA, Princeville HS (Ill), Deer Creek Schools (OK).

Mary Klinger Rutgers Preparatory School Athletic Director klinger@rutgersprep.org 732-545-5600 ext. 215